In My Next Life.

Like the old, but ever-so fabulous song by Diamond Rio "I try not to think about what might have been." I mean, I really do. In all honestly, what is the point of reveling in your past? What's done is done, Plus, I'm pretty dadgum happy right now, so I am not too worried about what would have happened had I taken a different path.

However, I am still a very big "what if"-er. What got me thinking about this is based on a relationship (or lack of a relationship) that I have with a person that I barely know. Our feelings for each other are incredibly situational. Under the circumstances that we were brought together, we don't like each other for stupid, petty reasons. Honestly, I wouldn't even say I don't like her... I am just indifferent, but maybe it's because we are supposed to not get along, we have never made an effort to look past it all.

What brought all of my "what if" feelings about her to light was my happening to run across her blog. I was hesitant to read it at first, asking myself if I really cared about anything she had to say. But once I started reading, I realized something-- She's damn funny. She's honest. She's witty and full of personality. She's... a lot... like... (gasp) ME!? Yes, that was a half-hearted attempt at complimenting her while also reminding you of how freaking cool I am. :)

I couldn't help but wonder WHAT IF we had met under any other circumstance. I never thought I'd say this, but I am pretty sure we would be friends. Like friend-friends. Like almost bff-friends. Like call/text you every day-friends. Like make me the godmother of your children-friends. Like... Well, you get the point.

As you can imagine, this was a very strange, yet VERY humbling realization. It's possible that I have been too judgmental and even too cold to a person I don't even know. How disappointed I am in myself for letting a shotty situation determine how I feel about someone. I know things like this happen, I just hate that I had to be in the middle of it.

To her, I say "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for getting wrapped up in something that you and I didn't create... Something that we both just sort of fell in to. I was unfair to you and I sincerely apologize for it."
Who knows... Maybe in our next lifetime, we'll be friends. :)