Oh, So Cliche'

Have you ever thought about the many cliches in life? While my cynical half tries to snarl every time someone throws one my way, I do believe in the truth behind "everything happens for a reason." Is it what I want to hear when I'm in the middle of the worst pain in my life? Absolutely not... However, looking back, I can't help but to see how everything in my life has brought me to this moment right here, right now. Lord knows it's been a long 24 years of lessons learned. :)

I first really started thinking about this two weekends ago. My best friend Lauren recently got engaged, and Matt and I went up to Little Rock to her engagement party. We have known each other for 6 years (since our Freshman year in college) and I couldn't ask for a better friend. I love her dearly.
Rewind to the day we met... My parents and I were moving all of my stuff into my dorm at Texas State. I'm sure there was a bit of tension in the air for the sheer fact that my parents did not want me to be in San Marcos. I had followed my high school boyfriend down there (by the way, I will die before I let my child follow their significant other to college-- just so you know). Anyway, we were getting my room all set up, when I heard people coming down the hall. The two girls were moving in the dorm room across from mine... Lauren was one of them. I would like to think I introduced myself to her, but knowing my sometimes "shy/unfriendly" nature, she probably made the first move. :) And the rest, as they say, is history. How about another cliche'?!

We clicked immediately. Shortly after we got all settled in and said our Goodbyes to our parents, we fell deeply into Rush Week. Devastatingly, we rushed different sororities, but our relationship was not affected. We each made new friends, but stayed close to one another. In November, my boyfriend and I ended our toxic relationship (shocker)-- Lauren was there to pick up my pieces. A few months later, I began having thyroid problems, lost a ton of weight, and the doctors thought I might have a tumor on my pituitary glands... Lauren comforted me. We spent New Year's together in Houston, went skiing on Spring Break vacation, threw an outstanding party at her parent's lakehouse, drank too much, made terrible decisions, but leaned on each other through it all.
When I decided in May not to return to Texas State in the Fall, I was heartbroken to be leaving her. I was lucky that she understood that I needed to make a new and fresh start. Being 200 miles apart was taxing on our friendship, but we never let it go. We were unable to be inseparable, but our relationship still grew. In the past 6 years, we've been through so much together. It's easy for me to see why she's my best friend. Still and always.

So where does the cliche' come in? Well it all boils down to my high school boyfriend. We started dating when I was 15, so naturally when it came to making a decision about college, I couldn't be without him. So, despite the lack of approval from my friends and family members, I followed him... I followed him to place where I didn't necessarily belong, a place far away from home, a place where my heart was broken and my faith was almost lost... A place where I met my best friend. That is the only thing in the world that I thank him for. If it hadn't been for my disastrous first relationship, I would have never met my life-changing best friend, Lauren. "Everything happens for a reason."

And for that one reason, I would do it ALL over again. Love you, Lo.

Spiritual vs. Religious

I have a confession to make... I absolutely adore Tori Spelling.

My infatuation started years after her days on 90210. In fact, she might have just been my least favorite character on a show I came to know mostly from re-runs. However, over the past few years, I have been watching her show(s)-- Tori and Dean (Inn Love, Home Sweet Hollywood, etc.). I have come to love her little family... From an outsider perspective, of course. I think her husband Dean has to be one of the sweetest men alive and there are times when Tori is upset, that I feel her pain. I know, I don't need you to tell you how silly this is. SO, because of my feelings toward her and her family, I decided to buy her first book, sTORI Telling.

I have been reading along steadily (in what little spare time I have) and thoroughly enjoying her "no-holds-barred" stories from the inside of 90210, growing up in the biggest house in Hollywood with a crazy mom, and through the trials and tribulations of her first marriage (and divorce). I even forced myself to look past the fact that she and Dean were married when they met and had an extramarital affair before they both filed for divorce from their ex-spouses. Hey, who am I to judge?!

BUT-- She said something in her book that is hard for me to let go in my feelings of who she is as a person. She clearly states that she is "more spiritual than religious." Hmm... If I had a nickel for every time I've heard this mind-boggling statement (more often than not from the mouth of a celebrity), I'd be able to afford the $500 boots I've been wanting from Victorias Secret AND have plenty of money left over.

So what exactly do these much-loved stars mean by "spiritual." My guess, of course, is nothing but the speculation of a born and raised Christian. I believe that it's a half-hearted attempt to say "I believe in something (possibly a higher power, possibly even the same God Christians believe in), but because of my rebellious nature, I refuse to follow any sort of "organized religion." What is it about organized religion that turns people off? Oprah is a very valid example of spirituality vs. religion. She says she is spiritual, not religious, but if you ask me, ol' O is nothing but a fair-weather fan. She has a very large fan base, so she must keep all calm on the homefront... If she has a Buddhist on her show, she wants to seem overly-empathetic of that religion. If her guest of honor is a Scientologist, she will attempt to agree with him or her. In my humble opinion, all she is saying is "I don't know what I believe, so I follow the fad of the day." It's unfortunate if you ask me.

Once again, I am just stating my beliefs. I may buy the trendy clothes or cut my hair like Posh, but one thing that is NOT a fad is my belief system. It is unwavering. I believe that my Lord sent his son to save us from our sins.
Do I lend an ear and offer respect to others who believe differently than myself? Absolutely. But will I change my feelings because of a few strong-minded people with valid points? No, because that's not how my religion works... My religion is an unwavering, unchangeable part of who I am... All the way to the core.

Sorry Tori... Tonight we disagree.

Can the Leopard be Forgiven??

I am a big believer in forgiveness. I was raised in the church and on the basis that forgiveness is a Christ-like quality. After all, it is by HIS grace that we are saved. So why is it SO hard?

Flashback to my last semester in college... I ended up having to take a Group Exercise class in order to receive 1 extra credit that had previously been overlooked. I remember thinking, "If nothing else, surely I will get in shape! Have you SEEN Ms. Gilstrap?!" She was the most toned woman I had ever met. So, anyway, I pictured myself doing a little yoga, some aerobics, a bit of weight-training and BAM, I'd have my credit. What I least expected, though, was to walk away from that class with a lifelong lesson.
Ms. Gilstrap had us watch what are called Nooma videos before each class. They are 10-minute videos made by Rob Bell (best-selling author, Christian speaker, and the founding pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church) that teach life-related lessons. While they are all incredible videos, the one that stuck with me most was called "Luggage." The gist of the lesson was that our inability to forgive only affects and hurts us. We carry the bitterness within us as our baggage and it eventually wears us down. The beauty of being able to forgive is that it frees us. It allows us to just let our anger go. So, again... Why is it SO hard?

I also believe strongly that a leopard NEVER changes its spots. I have always wanted to see the best in people, which is both a blessing and a curse. However, there are simply those people that will let you down time and again, people that are deceitful and careless of your feelings and well-being. I have found this out the hard way. So, because they choose to be "leopards," are they equally as worthy of forgiveness as those who unknowingly wrong us? I think so... I really do. This is something easier said than done though.
I have been battling with forgiving a person who really wronged me a while back. This person is fully aware of what they did, but I honestly believe they could care less. Because of that, I know the burdens I carry do not affect them... Only me. So I'm trying... In all my glory and humility, I'm trying.

Now, forgetting it... That's a whole other story for another day.

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding...

As many of you know, my uncle Bruce passed away last Thursday morning. I have spent the weekend trying to console my family members while also mourning myself. I know the Lord has a plan and a purpose for everything but it has been rough for us all to even attempt to understand. I have faith, though, that we are in His hands through and through.

Bruce was an incredible man. He was my dad's accident-proned, spoiled-rotten baby brother. He was opinionated and sarcastic and never failed to make us laugh. He was my "Unkie Boo Boo" who used to make us sit at the table for what seemed like hours if we forgot to ask "May I be excused."
A quote that my mom wrote on his facebook says it all, "In the end, a person is only known by the impact he or she has had on others." Being at the funeral proved this to be true... He touched so many lives in one way or another and when the funeral began, all that was left was standing room. Amazing.

The greatest impact he had on my life was that he showed me that it's never too late to start over. You see, my uncle wasn't even near perfect, but he'd be the first to tell you so. He was the epitome of learning from your mistakes and it was always a breath of fresh air to hear him talk about it.
One of his high school teacher's quoted something Bruce had just said to him days before, "Failure in my life has taught me to help my children to succeed in theirs. Amazing some have to grow older to learn such things. Guess I just wanted to brag a little to someone about my kids and you came to mind. I know you understand how this makes me feel. Proud!!! I wonder if our kids ever really know."

Bruce, with all his faults, unconditionally loved his family... Especially his wife and 5 kids. They were blessed to have him for the time they did.


Please continue to keep my family in your prayers. We are taking it one day at a time.

You'll Be The First to Know

Just last week, I had four different women ask me, "So when are YOU going to get married, Ally?" My answer is always a sarcastic "When I find out, you'll be the first to know."

Now I have always prided myself in being the girl that was completely okay with not knowing the answer to that question. Heck, I'm thankful that I never seriously saw myself married until now... Lord knows I'd be divorced at least once if I had married any of my high school or college boyfriends. NO THANK YOU.

So, what is it about the past few months that have made me especially antsy to tie the knot? Could it be that my boyfriend and I just celebrated 3 years? Maybe... Is it because I'm 5 months away from my 25th birthday? Very possible. Maybe it's because over half of my friends are engaged or married. Likely. It may just be a combination of all three coupled with the fact that I am deeply in love and know with my heart and soul that I want to spend the rest of my life with Matt. Whatever the cause of my newly found feelings, one simple fact remains-- I, Allyson Chapman, am ready to get married.

Wow, I can't believe that I just admitted it. Yikes.

So, to all of the wonderful people in my life that are asking themselves, "Are Matt and Ally ever going to get married?"-- Yes, we will... without a second's doubt. And when it happens, guess what? You'll be the first to know. :)

Miss Chapman

Well it's official... I am leaving DBU, effective July 31st.

I can't believe I have been here so long. I think that, like most people, I became comfortable in my surroundings making it hard to picture myself working elsewhere. However, leave it up to the good Lord to make the picture crystal clear. After some praying and deep soul-searching, I was able to come to the decision that it is time (past time, really) to spread my wings.

Starting in August, I will be teaching 8th grade math. Of course, I would pick one of the most hated subjects in school. :) I am two extremes of excited and nervous all bundled up into one. I have faith that everything will work out as planned and because of that, I'm trying to keep a handle on my anxiety. Needless to say, though, I am definitely going to need some prayers over the next year... It's going to be a long, winding road, but I have no doubts that I will find my way.

My Miracle

3 years ago today, my life changed drastically.

July 1, 2006
Greg and Lisa Houchin had been trying for months to set me up with Greg's cousin, Matt. Being that I had just broken up with someone, it took some time for the idea of meeting someone new to appeal to me. Apparently, it also took time for his cousin to warm up to the idea as well. I later found out that he was afraid he'd disappoint Greg and Lisa if he didn't like me.

So, FINALLY, toward mid-June, we both let our guards down and agreed to meet. I have to admit, I agreed partly because Lisa showed me Matt's photo... Such a good-looking fella.
So, our first attempt was a bust-- Greg, Lisa and I went to see a band play at Greg's mom's restaurant and Matt never made it because he was "detained" at a wedding... I was bummed.

A week or so later, Matt came up with the idea that we should take a trip out on the lake- just the four of us. I nervously accepted the invitation, afraid of what would happen if we didn't hit it off. Because of my nervousness, I woke up that week with my first (massive) fever blister. I did everything I could think of... I bought a $12 tiny tube of Abreva and rubbed it on my lip religiously. I even called one of my best friends and asked to borrow her prescription medicine she'd used to fight off a fever blister right before her wedding... But to no avail. The blister stayed put. I finally decided "Screw it. If this boy doesn't like me because of a fever blister, then he's not the guy for me." Deep breath!

So, on the morning of July 1, I woke up early and put on my swimsuit for the first time that summer, looked in the mirror, and wished I had crashed dieted for at least a week before our lake trip. I shook off my insecurities and headed to Mansfield.
When I got to Greg and Lisa's, Matt had not arrived yet. I'm pretty sure the main thought crossing my mind was "What in the Hades was I thinking agreeing to this?!" As luck would have it, Matt got lost on the way out to Mansfield from Wylie, so that gave me ample time to build up more nervous energy.
I went into their guest bathroom to do one last mirror check when I heard him come in the door. I can still remember the feeling I had as I opened the door. There he stood-- with his long dark hair, gray and white boardshorts, and a Mt. Calvary Baptist Church Camp t-shirt. Dang, I thought... How cute is he?!

It took about an hour on the boat for all of my nervousness to fade. We ended up hitting it off better than I thought would be possible. We stayed on the lake all day and well into the evening. I can say, without a doubt, that July 1, 2006 was one of the best days of my life thus far.

And three years later (through the ups and downs and in-betweens), I love Matt more than I ever thought I would. He is my everything and I thank my Lord every single day that He brought him into my life. I am truly blessed.